Where is life taking you?

You wake up in the morning, shower, dress and off to work. Here we go again, just another dreary day and at the end of it there is no-one to catch up with at the bar, or to go home to.

So it’s either put in some extra hours at work to fill in the night, or go home, pour a glass of wine and cook dinner for one while you watch tv.

So we spend too much time in a bar talkin to other in the same prediciment, or home alone watching tv. Either way it’s a life of one night stands and wondering where the future is taking us.

This life style, unfortunately, is very common for a lot of people. I have been there and know what it is like.

I dont know if you have ever realised, but the harder we try to find someone that we want to spend time with, either on a permanent or temporary basis, but the harder we try, the harder it becomes. One night stands are easy because you are both lonely and you both need to relieve the physical sexual frustration.

Finding someone is a lot harder. The challenge is not to try to get them into bed on the first night. You are looking for a base to build a relationship on. Have you ever watched a high rise being built. It seems to take forever to get to ground level. Thats because they have to make sure the foundations are solid and the building wont topple.

Relationships are no different. Dont rush into it. Cruise through and let nature take its own course. Mother Nature is wonderful. She will tell you soon enough if this is going to work out for you or not. Unfortunately for a lot of us, we tend to be impatient and make rash decisions. Proof of this is the cue at the divorce courts.

Yes - been there and done that and got the T-shirt.

However, with experience, and a little maturity, after a lot of drifting through life (again) and trying to find where I was going (doesn’t this sound familiar - again), I met a lady through work. We were both working for the same company. I was on the road and she was in the office. I had plans of building a bank balance and travelling to other parts of the world to see what was out there. Friday nights a group of us got together for a couple of drinks after work before heading off to do our own things.

After a while I had a second job working in a bar on friday nights. One evening, in walks this lady from work with another guy I knew. We chatted casually and got to know each other a bit better. This also opened up a friendship at work - also casual.

Some months later I got offered a management position position at another tavern which I took. This was a full time position so I lost contact with the lady from work. One night when it was boringly quiet I looked up her phone number and gave her a call. We chatted for a while and I suggested she came over for dinner at the tavern. I didn’t know it at the time, but her sister was visiting and urged her to go.

We got on well, and after the tavern closed we went to a night club and cqarried on a bit more. Somewhere during the night I suggested coffee and she said where?

“I know where you can get the best coffee in town” says I.

We started dating and learning more about each other. We found that we got on well together and eventually we moved in together. Twelve months after moving in we were married.

That just came out of the blue. Neither of us were looking for a permanent relationship. Neither of us expected that we would be a couple. In fact a lot of our friends and aquaintenances were laying bets that our marriage would not last. We have great delight  in proving them all wrong.

We are now coming up to our 30th wedding anniversary.

Has it all been smooth sailing? - not by any means…

How have we stayed together for so long and still in love with each other? - come back for the next entry.